Geeky Goth?

Is there even such a thing??
Should I exist?!

Oh let me count the ways. I think this will turn out quite comical if I may venture to say so.

I’m a girl. Yes, that’s right, I’m of the female persuasion. A natural blonde if you can believe it, but boxed red and black now. I should have been born a redhead. Of course, I don’t want to insult the naturally gorgeous redheads that are out there- so I have settled on a color that I think best shows my personality. It’s obviously not a natural one!

I grew up in the kitchen, and I love to cook as a result. I don’t like going out to eat often, I’d rather cook up a delicious meal. There are, however, some times it’s nice to get out and have someone serve me though. Being Italian, I make one hell of a sauce… As well as a medley of other cuisines. Stay out of my kitchen unless I invite you in, otherwise you may have flying spatulas and wooden spoons tossed at you…
I like doing laundry. There’s something about the smell of freshly laundered linens that come out of the dryer hot and soft that are just amazing. Especially if it’s a blanket- I like to wrap myself up and catch that warm-fuzzy feeling.
When I get angry, I clean. It’s an amazing response tactic. Piss me off, and I get to scrubbing, dusting, vacuuming… Unless you’re in my face and won’t leave me alone. In that case, I tend to incite a riot. And my mouth has a habit of running on and on… And on…. There are a number of ways to make me shut up, but I won’t share just yet.

I’m a computer geek. That’s right, I enjoy it very much. A natural blonde, who’s a redhead now, who actually has brains?! Yes! It’s true!
I’m not the programming type, it just doesn’t translate correctly from the gray matter in my dome, to executable code. I “get” the concept…. I just can’t make it work. Therefore, I’m a troubleshooting geek. Pretty good. There’s a lot more to learn, and I’ll do so once I can work again. (hopefully, soon)

I enjoy camping- though, any forays out into the wilderness will have to wait until next year, and will likely require an air mattress to be lugged along too. Not that I want to bring one, but because I’d wreck my back if I didn’t. I’m allowed to bring something that will prevent me from further injuring myself. Yes. I can start the fire pretty well, keep it going nice and well, and I like making S’mores. Remember, always bring a rifle or shotgun, I do because personally- I don’t want to become dinner for a hungry animal. I bank on the fact that I’m small enough, I’d hopefully only be considered an appetizer.
Oh, and I’d need a sleeping-bag buddy to keep me warm. Said buddy will also need to put a worm on a hook if we go fishing- I can’t stomach the thought of piercing one on myself. And any fish that may get caught on my line must be removed by someone else. I’ve been bitten and barbed by too many fish to handle them anymore. Honestly- I catch more branches and leaves than I do fish…. But it’s the fact that I like to be out in a boat, with a funny hat, a cooler of ice cold beer, and a fishing pole since that’s the point… Right?

I like doing yard work. Gardening, pruning, weeding…. Well, the first is the most fun. The other two, not so much. I take pride in good looking gardens and such. Which brings me to lot clearing. You know, taking down trees. That’s right… I’ve helped. I know I’m a little short, so that leaves me to drive the tractor(s). An older, small one… And a newer, quite large one which I love, but have to scoot forward so my feet reach the pedals. I’m not anywhere near comfortable with wielding a chainsaw. They’re too big for me to handle, and having small hands doesn’t help, not even with gloves. I do yield an axe though, along with loppers. The big chipper/shredder doesn’t intimidate me, and the log splitter is quite fun to play with.

Since my father didn’t raise girls who are useless, I’m also proficient with diagnosing problems with my vehicle. I know how to do an oil change, I can replace my brakes if need be, spark plugs, air filters, batteries, check the radiator, know when my tires are too worn out… I’ve replaced broken head gaskets, manifolds, emergency brake lines, head blocks…. Needless to say, I get greasy and dirty working on the vehicle(s) at times. I break a lot of nails, some of which are quite painful. I end up with grease in my hair, on my face, on my clothes. Dirt under unbroken nails.

I’m a dirty girl.

I’d like to think, however, I clean up pretty well.

I favor dark colored clothes, though jeans are a staple in my wardrobe. I’m a sucker for wanting to look nice- typical outfits consist of a nice blouse, pencil skirts, and a sexy pair of heels. Due to my injury, I can’t wear heels…. Yet. Once I’m back to normal, I’ll don them. I love accessorizing with colors. A typical black outfit will be changed up with a wild pair of colored heels- my favorite is a pair of patent leather, slingback 4″ beauties. Bright Red. I’ve also pulled a few “Miss Congeniality” moves, and have fallen while walking in heels. Or from standing up, doing nothing. Don’t ask me how- but before my back went out on me, I could run really well in the damn things!

When it comes to makeup, I’ve only recently been heading back to my dark preferences. There aren’t many places where someone like me can wear the makeup I want, and be taken seriously. While it would please me very, very much to tell those that don’t like it where to go… I need to respect the corporate rat race and tone it down. A lot. It comes to pass, when I can do the dark, dramatic makeup I crave…. I draw like an artist. I skip the whole white face paint, I wanna be a dead kid look. I’m already pale skinned as it is (thanks Italian and Irish ancestors…) so I use it to my advantage. I darken the eyes, sometimes the lips… And I have fun. I play it up. I go all out, dramatic. I like getting sidelong stares. Outright glares, evil hairy eyeballs. I’d like to think it’s because I do what they cannot. And any criticism… Well, I don’t know them. I create what makes me happy, not what will impress others.

If anyone wants to complain… Call someone who cares.


~ by Snarky Princess on December 14, 2010.

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